By Barbara L. Nelson
For me this necessary part of the manifestation process is the most difficult. But in order for creation to happen in our lives, we have to detach from the outcome. We have to learn the art of allowing. That’s why in any prayer at the end we say “this or something better.”
Sitting in the unknown zone trying to make things happen often turns out to be disastrous or so I have come to experience. You have to honor the entire process. You have to trust that the Universe is conspiring to do you good and whatever happens it is right.
I’ve always thought I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, so I have missed out on a lot of the wonderful “Now” moments. I was always thinking about something outside the now, the next job, the next town, or the next what-ever-it-is. I’ve always been into planning and making things happen and not allowing things to happen. However, sometimes all the planning and forcing your will upon situations will never get you what you truly need.
During this mecca to find my purpose, my truth, I’ve often had to throw my hands in the air and say “not my will but yours God.” I’ve had to cultivate the art of allowing by waiting for a door to open. I’ve always been the type to say “I want it, and I want it Now.” I wasn’t allowing the Universe to lead me to my desires. I wasn’t noticing the opportunities that Spirit was showing me.
Sometimes there is nothing for you to do. Sometimes you are in a void or draught period where the past is falling away, before the new can come in. These times are the hardest. When you are a doer like me, it can be excruciating painful to sit and wait.
In the void, you look at the darker sides of your being, honor them, learn from them and then release them. Sometimes in order for the new to come in, we have to drop the limiting beliefs that are holding us back. A cup filled with resentment, anger and thoughts of past, can’t be filled with new loves and new experiences.
For nearly a year and half, I was truly stuck and couldn’t find the path forward. I knocked on doors only to find that no matter how hard I rapped they would remain closed to me. I scratched my head, cried in fear, called out to God in the darkness asking “why?” Only to find the answers didn’t come, because I wasn’t allowing it to happen.
However, the voids are where I feel you do your best work on your soul. You have time to look in the mirror, because there are no outside influences being thrust upon you. You have to talk to yourself. You have to fall in love with all of you, the good, the bad and the ugly parts.
None of us are born perfect. No matter how we want to believe we are whole, parts of us remain in the past, parts of us are contemplating the future and parts of us we have yet to discover. In the void, we are able to integrate these splintered parts of us.
It’s take a lot of courage to remain detached, to wait, to not push and that’s what I had to do. My whole life I had grand plans and most of the time I strong-armed them into working out. But I was asking to live my truth. At the time, I thought I knew what that was, but it seems it was so deeply buried that it would take nearly two years of soul-searching to unearth it. Had I know this before I left, I am sure I would have stayed put and worked my nine-to-five public relations job in the city, did my three-hour commute daily and been satisfied in doing it. But that would have been a mistake, as we seldom are given enough insight to know failure will be our greatest teacher.
After leaving New York/New Jersey in 2009, I moved to New Mexico and nothing worked out. A full-time job never materialized, one of my roommates threatened me with violence and I didn’t find love. I lost my dignity and my shirt, so to speak, and it took me a long time to forgive myself for not being more prepared for the worst. I thought the magic carpet would be rolled out for me, since I was following my truth. Well truth isn’t what or where one might think it is, or so I have come to find.
The truth is we are human and we make mistakes, and life isn’t supposed to be a bed of roses. Life has drought times and harvest times, we have to learn to appreciate and allow both. In the drought years, we look inside for nourishment in the harvest years we look outward. During the drought times, we find out the most about ourselves. During the harvest times, we find out most about how we interact and are connected with the world. Both are required. All the time we are healing and growing physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
If we are lucky, we have more harvest times, but don’t expect them to last. We can’t exist in an eternal harvest. A farmer knows enough to allow a field be idle for a year, because it can’t support continuous life. The soil needs to be nourished and to rest. Humans are the same way, we need idle times.
I believe it’s the same aspect that’s been happening to the economy. We experienced an overabundance and the Universe had to pull it back into perspective or so I think.
I don’t have all the answers, but I have come to know life is change, and we have to learn to enjoy, honor and allow the harvest and drought periods. We also have to remain in the Now to be conscious enough to notice the Universe’s magical dance in our lives. Remember “this or something better.”
Namaste and Happy Mother’s Day to all you wonderful women around the world!
To read more of Barbara Nelson, Please visit her site: Following The Light