By Matt Licata
At times, you may become aware of a subtle burning deep within you, early in the morning, before reality has crystallized and taken form. Before you remember the dream that something is missing.
It can continue through the day, as you move from place to place, engage in conversation with others, and as you make contact with the colors, the sounds, and the textures of the sacred world.
This movement can appear as a felt sense in the body, as the surging of emotion, or as a certain sort of restlessness, as if something is longing for reorganization. Something is calling, drawing you close, but it is far too vast and creative to approach by way of the known. You are alive, but this aliveness offers no ground and no solidity from which to take the next step. It does not bring answers, but only reminds you of the vastness of the question.
For some, this experience is associated with profound melancholy, for others an actual ache in the heart, and for others feelings of hopelessness, despair, joy, or bliss. You are being called back home, but it is not the home of what has come before. It is into your homeless nature, as a wanderer and as an explorer of love.
For those who are attuned to this movement, it can be experienced as an actual substance, a drop of material or nectar in the body, come to seed new pathways of aliveness and creativity. These new pathways are formed by way of dissolution, through the reorganization of that which you thought you knew about yourself, about intimacy, about healing, and about what it means to be an alive, sensitive, embodied human being.
As you learn to stay embodied, present, and kind to the reorganizing nature of this process, you may come to see the burning as a sacred friend, though at times a very wrathful one – an old unmet part of you, not come to harm but to reveal something about wholeness.
The burning is not an obstacle on your path, but is the very path itself. As you surround it with your warmth and holding, it will purify your heart and your connection with beings everywhere, so that you can be here fully. So that your uniqueness and wildness may find safe passage, and that you may help others in unknowable, infinite ways.