Make Love Last
Each relationship is as unique as the people in it. However, there are some traits every successful relationship should have. Here are five things you shouldn’t do if you want your relationship to go the distance.
1. Don’t Give Up That Team Spirit
There is so much emphasis on the individual in the relationship these days. While maintaining your independence is important, it’s also important to never lose sight of your partnership—a team effort. The strength of your relationship depends on the ability of two individuals to work together. Therefore, you should never forget that you are on the same team. The moment you start to see your relationship as “me vs. them,” you’ve created an atmosphere for hurt, frustration and rejection. A healthy relationship consists of two happy people with each other’s best interests at heart.
2. Don’t Say “I Love You” Like a Robot
Saying “I love you” to your partner may feel routine if you’ve been together for a while, but it shouldn’t! Think about what you’re really saying and what it means and always say it with feeling. Do it for every kind word or gesture for that matter! Otherwise the moment will lose it’s meaning and intent. Don’t take your love for granted. If you do, you will lose interest. Love is a privilege you have earned, so always be sure to treat it as such.
3. Don’t Let Physical Intimacy Dwindle
Physical intimacy has many benefits, including lowering stress levels and raising self-esteem. It also bonds a couple. Who doesn’t want to connect with their love on every level—mental, emotional and physical? Therefore, you and your partner should make a pact that no matter how long you’re together, you should never let the physical intimacy dwindle. If you’re both capable of it, it should be a regular occurrence in your relationship.
4. Don’t Bring Your Old, Destructive Coping Mechanisms With You
Your past should remain in your past. Whatever destructive coping mechanisms you’ve used in the past to get you through a tough situation or a bad relationship should be left behind. They may feel as comfortable as an old pair of jeans, but that doesn’t mean you should ever use them again. Remember, you are a different person, and this is a different relationship. And if you want to make this relationship better than your past relationships, you need to do things differently.
5. Don’t Lose Your Compassion for Your Partner
Why is it that we tend to be more accepting and forgiving of each other’s differences and quirks at the beginning of a relationship? It seems like what was once unique and endearing becomes annoying over time. What’s the solution? Never lose your compassion. Instead of trying to change your partner, work on changing yourself or at least your way of thinking. Always remain open to the differences in each other—at every stage of your relationship. That’s how you maintain respect and integrity between the two of you, which are two of the most important qualities a couple can have.