Held, Not Healed ~

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There are times when you become activated, hooked, and triggered, and the walls feel as if they are closing in. Thoughts that something is wrong with you, that you are unworthy, unlovable. Feelings of shame, rage, fear, and despair.

Before you conclude that all is lost, slow way down. Cut into the trance with your breath, soothe it with your senses, and dissolve it with the allies of the natural world around you. Feel your feet on the ground. A child has appeared. An orphan. One who has been on a long, tumultuous journey. She is lost and disoriented, he is longing for rest.

As the knock on the door becomes louder, you must decide if you will let this one in, or turn her away. Even though for thousands of moments the knock has fallen upon deaf ears, she has not given up. She cannot give up.

If you do not care for the lost ones, who will? You have asked your partners, your children, your family members, your friends. As much as they love you, they cannot open the door for you. You are the only one with the key.

No matter what is going on in your life, or how convinced you have become that you have failed, you can turn toward the door, now. Start exactly where you are with an intention to no longer abandon yourself.

The abandoned ones are in constant movement, spinning and shifting shapes in their longing to be seen and allowed back home. Appearing as thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories. As fantasies, symptoms, hopes, and dreams. Even as the colors and the mountains, the trees, and the stars.

With the intention for communion as your guide, the next time you are met by the burning, the restlessness, the claustrophobia, and the shaky, survival-level vulnerability, remember your aspiration. Weave together a sanctuary where the visitors can rest from a long journey. Provide safe passage such that their richness and meaning may be revealed.

Inside the heart, you will see that the lost ones do not need to be transformed. They do not need to be shifted. They do not even need to be healed. Only held. Go slowly. One second at a time, then rest. They are not in a hurry. They have been looking for you since beginningless time, and will never give up.

 

Source: A Healing Space… reflections on love, meaning, and the aliveness of immediate experience

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